Whether you are a millionaire or a factory worker, divorce is a tough one to deal with. It doesn’t matter how long the marriage lasted, or at what stage in life you are at right now, this is going to be a difficult time.
Seek legal advice
This is essential, right at the beginning, as we all like to think our separation will be a civil affair, yet with emotions running high, it very often becomes something for lawyers to handle. Don’t make any decisions until you have consulted your lawyer, and make sure he or she is updated at all times. If you have reached a point where you want to end a relationship, and are looking for divorce lawyers in Melbourne,an online search will put you in touch with a qualified legal representative, who can advise you on all aspects of the separation.
Know when to fold
The key to any successful partnership is honesty, trust, and the desire to please your partner. While it is wonderful when all these things are present, very often, they are not, and for one reason or another, the relationship has died. Many people try to rekindle what is no longer there, which prolongs the misery for both parties, as they struggle with the emotional stress that unhappiness brings. This is the time to recognise that both of you would be happier if you went your separate ways.
If we view our marriage as a failure, then recovery can be slow, but if we understand that two people who no longer feel the way they used to, are ready to move on to a new chapter in their lives, then we don’t see it as a loss, more of a change in direction.
In the early stages, it is better to be with people, so reconnect with your old friends. Perhaps there were friends that your partner didn’t like, and you lost touch, well now is the perfect time to catch up. Some people take up a hobby at this time, as it requires a degree of focus, which keeps your mind from thinking about the past. Joining a club opens a new social door, with many single people, it is a chance to make new friends, and possibly form a new relationship at some time in the future. Whatever you like doing, you should indulge a little, and make yourself feel special. A short holiday to the Caribbean would be an ideal tonic after a divorce.
Don’t look to blame
Whatever the reason your marriage ended, it is firmly in the past, yet we tend to want to apportion blame to our self, or others, and this slows the emotional healing process. If we look to the future, this is a new beginning, and try to think of the mistakes in the past as learning experiences, making you a better person. As the cliché goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so your life will progress, and you will meet someone else.